Setting a goal, a plan, action items, and executing quickly feels good. It’s good for our general sense of well-being. It’s how we make that solid ground I talked about earlier. On this solid ground we can stand firmly. Secure from the crumbling cliff of depression.
Become a Doer (building a life you want to live and share):
One of the most effective steps I’ve taken to get out of my deepest depression is focusing on becoming a doer. A “Doer” being someone that does things rather than just stand around talking and planning. This website and all my writing are part of my “therapy”. They are an exercise that helps to keep me “doing” and moving forward toward the goal of being happy and productive.
Setting a goal, a plan, action items, and executing quickly feels good. It’s good for our general sense of well-being. It’s how we make that solid ground I talked about earlier. On this solid ground we can stand firmly. Secure from the crumbling cliff of depression. I know that if I actively layout the plan for my life and work the plan I can move from the place that I’m currently at to where I want to be. I want to be a productive person, own a home, travel the world, and accomplish big things. All that it will take is a focused target and a lot of work. And most obviously, it’s going to take a focused healthy mind to get moving. Sounds simple? I believe it is just that simple. I’m feeding my happiness quotient with dopamine. The reward center in my brain is activating with every accomplishment I make. I’m building a life and I believe this practice will help you move away from your depression as well.
In my situation, I’ve been unemployed at the time of this writing for more than eight years. You’re likely employed, but I believe this step is still relevant. Curling up in front of the television or surfing the internet are not steps in building the life you’ve dreamed of living so let’s reduce that behavior and increase things that move us towards a goal. So what is your goal? Do you want to go back to school? Take night classes (if you don’t think you can afford it, visit with a financial aid representative before you close the door on that idea. You may be surprised). Do you spend your days at your job wishing you could start your own business? Start planning our escape. Set a goal, set a plan, break that plan down into action items.
My plan for this website started in OneNote. I started a tab called notes. For a week or so I collected ideas and thoughts in individual notes that I then collected and modified to come up with what you’re reading now. I have known for over a year that I wanted to share the practical steps I was using to get out of depression but that idea was too big a chunk to work with. So breaking it down helped immensely. The plan is the map and doing the work is the wheels.
Becoming a doer can be done with big lofty life goals or it can be done with a life of consistent activity. Get back into woodworking and become a prolific builder. Or hone whatever talent you have. We all have talents. If you haven’t found your talent, you haven’t tried enough things yet. Keep doing new things. You’ll find it. Just don’t get caught in the trap of modern life that keeps us feeling like we lack something. Talent, time, money, and motivation are all excuses. With some reorganizing of your life you can make time and money.
I don’t believe in motivation. Motivation can be replaced with a plan and a desire that outweighs our excuses. I think “lack of motivation” in this context kind of just means you’ve not broken down the goal into chunks that you can wrap your mind around. Keep breaking it down till it’s a list of actions rather than a goal. There’s a differences between goals and plans. A plan is a list of actions and a goal is the intended singular outcome you desire. This step of becoming a doer will give you a great feeling of accomplishment.
We are made to do work. It makes us healthy. The nightly news will tell you “studies suggest” you’re working too hard and it’s making your sick. But that’s unlikely. It seems more likely that the problems have to do with your feeling of achievement than the amount of work you’re doing. Work on things that give you a feeling of achievement every day. Work hard. Don’t let a day pass that you don’t feel good about what you’ve accomplished toward one of your goals.
Failure:
I must be honest with you and explain that having a plan will not insulate you from failure. There is no way to avoid failures in our lives. Failure is a natural part of life. But don’t be discouraged by this news! The great thing about failure is that it teaches us and helps us find our way. While I’m not suggesting we leave the front door in the morning with a smile and a goal of falling flat on that smile on the daily. It can be said that the most successful people have the largest collection of failures. They drug themselves up and over those failures to get to the top. The secret is to disconnect failure from self-doubt. Failures should be a learning opportunity. If you’re using valuable brain power beating yourself senseless for your short comings. Rather than working out how to do it better the next time, you won’t be ready for that next time.
Depression has the effect of magnifying failures. They become mountains in our minds. But what if they were opportunities for us to stop and recalculate either the action items in our plan, or the goal itself. We could keep moving and accomplish great things! Let’s choose to accomplish great things together.